Man drunk. Monkey Sober both pulled over.

LARGO, Fla. (AP) -- A Florida man is charged with felony drunken driving and wildlife violations after police discovered a small monkey in his truck.

Largo Police say Eugene Carl Kotelman was speeding when they stopped him Thursday. He was driving on a suspended license and had been previously charged numerous times with driving on a suspended license and DUI.

Officers noticed a "small monkey" in Kotelman's truck and released the primate to his friend.

After Kotelman was released on bond from the DUI charge, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers charged him with possession of wildlife and two counts of violating fish and wildlife rules. They took custody of the monkey.

Police did not have a way to contact Kotelman and no current phone listing could be found.

Motorcycle Seat gives man hard on that will not stop

SAN FRANCISCO (WWJ) - BMW North America has probably had to deal with plenty of  unusual lawsuits, but one filed last week may be a first — a California man says the seat on his motorcycle has given him an erection he just can’t shake.

Henry Wolf of California is suing BMW America and aftermarket seatmaker Corbin-Pacific claiming his issue began after a four-hour ride on his 1993 BMW motorcycle, with a ridge like seat. Wolf is seeking compensation for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and what he calls “general damage.”

This motorcycle gives me a boner just looking at it. ~Keb

He said he’s had the erection non-stop for 20 months. And it comes with another side effect: The lawsuit says Wolf is “now is unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”

WWJ Newsradio 950 spoke with Dr. Michael Lutz, at the Michigan Institute of Urology, who said there is no medical data to support the man’s claim. However, “It’s been long-known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penis —  if it’s compressed for a period of time, whether it be on a bicycle seat or some other device — it can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia,” Lutz said.
“Not only in men, but women can also get numbness in that region if they’re compressing those nervous structures to that region of the body,” he said.

BMW Motorcycles of Southeast Michigan in Canton, Mich., checked out the story and noted the man wasn’t riding a standard BMW motorcycle seat. He was on an after-market seat, which start at about $200. People generally buy them to make the ride more comfortable.
“Sometimes people say it’s more comfortable, sometimes people can get a tall seat or a low seat or they’re shorter or taller, they can come heated,” said Theresa at BMW Motorcycles of Southeast Michigan.

Is that a methlab in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

OKMULGEE, Okla.  -  The Oklahoma Highway Patrol says a portable methamphetamine lab exploded in a man’s pants as he tried to run away from a state trooper during a traffic stop.
Tulsa television station KOTV reports the incident happened shortly after midnight Friday in Okmulgee County. Authorities say the man tried to run away when the trooper asked him about a chemical smell.
Trooper Shiloh Hall says the man had an active meth lab in his pants that burst during a struggle with the trooper. The man was checked out by emergency personnel and booked in the Okmulgee County jail on a drug charge.

A portable meth lab is also known as a one-pot lab, where a smaller batch of the drug is manufactured.

Stoned Emo kids. No really they got stoned to death.

At least 90 Iraqi teenagers with "emo" appearances have been stoned to death by religious extremists in Baghdad in the past month after an inflammatory interior ministry statement dubbed it "devil worshiping", activists said.

Iraq's Moral Police released a chilling statement on the interior ministry's website condemning the "emo phenomenon" among Iraqi youth, disturbingly declaring its intent to "eliminate" the trend.
"The 'Emo phenomenon' or devil worshiping is being followed by the Moral Police who have the approval to eliminate [the phenomenon] as soon as possible since it's detrimentally affecting the society and becoming a danger," the statement read.

"They wear strange, tight clothes that have pictures on them such as skulls and use stationary that are shaped as skulls. They also wear rings on their noses and tongues, and do other strange activities," it continued.

Religious extremists caught onto the interior ministry statement, and have been harassing and killing teenagers with "strange" or "emo" appearances.
A group of armed men dressed in civilian clothing led dozens of teenagers to secluded areas a few days ago, stoned them to death, and then disposed their bodies in garbage dumpsters across the capital, according to activists.

The armed men are said to belong to “one of the most extremist religious groups” in Iraq.
“First they throw concrete blocks at the boy's arms, then at his legs, then the final blow is to his head, and if he is not dead then, they start all over again,” one person who managed to escape told Al-Akhbar.
Iraq's moral police was granted approval by the Ministry of Education to enter Baghdad schools and pinpoint students with such appearances, according to the interior ministry's statement.
The exact death toll remains unclear, but Hana al-Bayaty of Brussels Tribunal, an NGO dealing with Iraqi issues, said the current figure ranges "between 90 and 100."

"What's most disturbing about this is that they're so young," she said.
Al-Bayaty said the killings appear to have been carried out by extremist Shia militias in mostly poor Shia neighborhoods and said she suspected "there's complicity of the Ministry of Interior in the killings."
Photos of the victims were released on Facebook, causing panic and fear among Iraqi students.

A young man with long hair expressed alarm at the government-ordained harassment of teenagers with Western appearances.

“I have long hair but that doesn't mean I'm an Emo. I'm not less of a man if I have long hair. Let's not say that if I have long hair, I'm a homosexual, but I have long hair because this is my style, this is me," he told Iraq's Al-Sharqiya television network.


Safiyyah al-Suhail, an MP, said on Thursday that "some students have been recently arrested because they were wearing American jeans or had Western haircuts."

The interior ministry has not disclosed the number of teenage victims, but released a follow-up statement on Thursday warning extremists "not to step on public freedom of Iraqis."

News of the gruesome deaths drew a stern reaction from Iraq's prominent Shia cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, who criticized the stoning of the young men as "an act of terrorism."
Below is the full English translation of the Iraqi interior ministry's inflammatory statement (original Arabic here):

The Director of the Moral Police of the Interior Ministry released a statement, saying "The 'Emo phenomenon' or devil worshiping is being followed by the Moral Police who have the approval to eliminate [the phenomenon] as soon as possible since it's detrimentally affecting the society and becoming a danger."

'Emo' comes from the English word 'emotional' and the phenomenon is popular among teenagers not only in Iraq, but in most societies. They use their appearances and movements as a method to express their emotions and embody their will and their view of life in their behavior.

Colonel Mushtaq Taleb al-Mahemdawi said: "The Emo Phenomenon was discovered a while back by members of our force in Baghdad. A report has been made and given to the Ministry of Interior to receive an approval to carry on with the investigation and to know how to eliminate the phenomenon."

He added: "The Ministry of Interior took this situation very seriously and received an approval from the Ministry of Education to set a plan under my full supervision and to allow us to enter schools in the capital."
"There are some cases of the spread of this phenomenon specifically among schools in Baghdad, but we are facing great difficulty in the lack of women on the force who would allow us to carry the investigation more accurately since the phenomenon is more popular among girls between the ages of 14 and 18."
"They wear strange, tight clothes that have pictures on them such as skulls and use stationary that are shaped as skulls. They also wear rings on their noses and tongues, and do other strange activities."

A Hawk ate my dog

Former Miss USA and Playboy model Shanna Moakler says one of her dogs is missing and another is under veterinary care after the animals were attacked by a hawk at her Calabasas home.

“A eagle attacked my 2 chi’s today, my girl pup is at the vet, my boy is missing, between my cat and my pups, i’m about to f**n kill things,” she tweeted Monday, but later referred to the animal as a hawk.

“Not gonna lie, feel like hunting hawks today… don’t feel bad about it either,” she tweeted Wednesday.

“I live in a neighborhood where coyotes and hawks are prevalent,” Moakler told Hollyscoop. “We took the dogs outside to go to the bathroom and they were attacked by a hawk. My one puppy may have lost an eye, we won’t know for a couple weeks and the bird flew off with my other puppy. It was like out of a movie.”

“I just hope people with small dogs will start taking precautions with their pets outside and try to protect them from predators. I hope people just remember not to take things for granted as you never know when they can be gone, both people and fur babies,” she added.
Moakler has two children with Blink-182 and Box Car Racer drummer Travis Barker.

Dance...I said Dance.

Just remember always to think twice before ordering someone to dance the “moonwalk” at the barrel of a gun.

An Idaho man has been hit with a felony assault charge for allegedly forcing another man to perform Michael Jackson’s signature “moonwalk” while having a rifle pointed at him, the Bonner County Daily Bee reported.

Police accused John Ernest Cross, 30, of using an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle while issuing the bizarre order to mimic a dance the late King of Pop debuted back in 1983.

Cross said during an initial court appearance that there was no rifle involved, only a pellet gun, the Daily Bee reported.

His bail was set at $20,000 and he was reportedly ordered to steer clear of the moonwalking victim.

You no park here.

April 19, a female scooter rider killed a man by squeezing his testicles for the packing dispute, in Haikou City, Hainan Province.
It was learned, the woman, 41 years old, rode on her scooter to an elementary school in Meilan District, Haikou City to pick up her child that day. When she wanted to pack her scooter in front of a shop, she was rejected by the shop owner, a 42-year-old male.
The two parties soon fell into a quarrel, and then the physical confrontation. The furious woman called up her husband and brother to come help her, which resulted in a more violent fist fight.
During the fight, the middle aged woman manged to grab the man’s testicles, and squeezed them till he finally collapsed on the ground.
The man was immediately rushed to hospital, but unfortunately died there despite of efforts.

Hawk eats little Hollywood dog

Former Miss USA and Playboy model Shanna Moakler says one of her dogs is missing and another is under veterinary care after the animals were attacked by a hawk at her Calabasas home.
“A eagle attacked my 2 chi’s today, my girl pup is at the vet, my boy is missing, between my cat and my pups, i’m about to f**n kill things,” she tweeted Monday, but later referred to the animal as a hawk.

“Not gonna lie, feel like hunting hawks today… don’t feel bad about it either,” she tweeted Wednesday.
“I live in a neighborhood where coyotes and hawks are prevalent,” Moakler told Hollyscoop. “We took the dogs outside to go to the bathroom and they were attacked by a hawk. My one puppy may have lost an eye, we won’t know for a couple weeks and the bird flew off with my other puppy. It was like out of a movie.”
“I just hope people with small dogs will start taking precautions with their pets outside and try to protect them from predators. I hope people just remember not to take things for granted as you never know when they can be gone, both people and fur babies,” she added.
Moakler has two children with Blink-182 and Box Car Racer drummer Travis Barker.