Make weapons from common office supplies

Bricolage - (noun) Something made or put together using whatever materials happen to be available


The people at Bleacheating freaks have completely lost their minds but that goes without saying, doesn't it.


Here are the criteria for their little contest to see who can make weapons from common office supplies.

Destructiveness (10%)- Strength of the weapon to impose it's damage onto an office. Also a factor of how many people your weapon can affect at once.

Automation (%10) - This facet is dedicated to how simple it is to use your weapon. If your weapon seems hard to load, implement or mobilize, then you might want to make the adjustments necessary to get this valuable percentage.

Presentation (%10)- How well the weapon was presented, by pictures, video and text. This score is always relative to the average presentation quality.

Technicality (%15)- The amount of technical design that went into the submission.

Elegant simplicity can score high on this event as well.

Aesthetics (%15)- How the weapon looks. Time designated towards cosmetics of the weapon. Writing Bleach Eating Freaks on the weapon will help boost the score.

Originality (20%) - Ability for the weapon to differ itself from what might be considered common office weapons, and past Office Bricolage entries.

Efficacy (20%) - The ability of the weapon to serve it's purpose. Not all weapons are destructive, a weapon that paralyzes it's victim is pretty kewl, too.

Here is an example the 60 sec. Shiv





















or

The Microclaymore











Complete instructions are provided on the site for each weapon.
I'm glad none of these people work with me.

Where I come from we do it with mardi Gras Beads

There are many ways to get the job done but here is certainly a new twist.

Women Sue Over Gorilla's Breast 'Fetish'


By MAY WONG
Associated Press writer

February 19, 2005, 8:31 AM EST

WOODSIDE, Calif. -- Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.

Nancy Alperin and Kendra Keller, both of San Francisco, claim they were subjected to sexual discrimination and then wrongfully terminated after reporting health and safety violations at Koko's home in Woodside, an upscale town in the south San Francisco Bay area.

The lawsuit against the Gorilla Foundation and its president, Francine "Penny" Patterson, the longtime trainer of the well-known gorilla, was filed this week in San Mateo County Superior Court. It seeks damages totaling more than $1 million.

Foundation attorney Todd Roberts said the case mischaracterizes the foundation and turns a "purported employment issue" into publicity "hurtful" for a reputable organization.

"We unequivocally deny these allegations and are confident that this case lacks merit," Roberts said.

Alperin and Keller were hired last year and were among 16 employees of the foundation, which was founded in 1976 to promote the preservation and study of gorillas. It is best known for Koko, who has mastered a vocabulary of more than 1,000 signs; the foundation says she has advanced further in language than any other non-human.

The suit claims Patterson pressured the two women on several occasions to expose their breasts to Koko, a 33-year-old female -- sometimes in situations where other employees could potentially view their bodies. The women never undressed, said their attorney, Stephen Sommers of San Francisco.

They were threatened that if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer," the lawsuit alleged.

The lawsuit claims that on one occasion Patterson said, "'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'"

In addition to the alleged harassment, the two former workers claimed the Woodside facility had unsanitary and unsafe conditions, including rodents in the food preparation area and gorilla urine stored in the refrigerator where workers kept their lunches.

Kakapo a flightless and nocturnal parrot

Saving parrots with a muesli aphrodisiac

Scientists in New Zealand have invented a Viagra-type drug to stoke the fires of passion in a rare species of parrot.

There are only 62 Kakapo parrots left because they are not feeling frisky enough.

But researchers think they may have cracked the problem to save the flightless birds with a muesli love potion.






The birds always get frisky when the rimu fruit buds, The Nelson Mail reports. So boffins are trying to replicate the key ingredients in that fruit to get the feathers flying.

The love potion will be fed to the parrots in a special muesli, combined with nuts, honey and calcium powder.

Graeme Elliot, a scientist for New Zealand's Department of Conservation, said, "Whatever it is in rimu fruit that makes them breed, we want to find out what it is and put in the muesli.

"We're not encouraging them just to have sex, we want them to breed. They've got to make babies, not just have fun."















The mixture costs about $10 (£2.70) a kilo to produce and is made like any muesli slice.

It is then shipped to Maud Island in the Marlborough Sounds and Codfish Island near Stewart Island where the kakapo live. Each bird is fed a cupful of muesli every four days.

Humans are warned to stick to Viagra as the high-calorie mix will do nothing for people's sex drive.

"It'll only make them fat," Mr Elliot added

Strip Club Artfully Slips by Anti-Nudity Law

BOISE, Idaho (Reuters) - A strip club in Boise, Idaho has found an artful way to prance past a city law that prohibits full nudity.
On what it calls Art Club Nights, the Erotic City strip club charges customers $15 for a sketch pad, pencil, and a chance to see completely naked women dancers.

In 2001 the Boise City Council passed an ordinance banning total nudity in public unless it had "serious artistic merit" -- an exemption meant to apply to plays, dance performances and art classes.

"We have a lot of people drawing some very good pictures," said Erotic City owner Chris Teague, who has posted many of the drawings around the club.

Teague said he got the idea when a customer asked if he could get in for free to sketch the dancers. Realizing that "art classes" were exempt from the law, Teague decided to bill Mondays and Tuesdays as art nights, and let the dancers go without their G-strings and pasties.

In the two months since they began, Art Club Nights have drawn full crowds of 60 people but no police citations, he said.

Jail Break In

UNION SPRINGS, Ala. -- A man who tried to break in to Bullock County Jail achieved his goal when police arrested him for criminal trespassing and locked him up, authorities said.

Officers found Jimmy Tolliver, 40, hiding behind an air conditioning unit in a secured area around 3 a.m. on Feb. 2, police told the Union Springs Herald.

"He had crawled under the fence," said Union Springs Police Chief Jake Wheeler. "We assume he was trying to smuggle something into the jail."

Wheeler said Tolliver told officers that he was trying to borrow $5 from an inmate.

Officers searched the area and found a bag of marijuana stuffed in a ventilation duct, the police report stated.

Tolliver was charged with second-degree criminal trespassing and taken to a city holding area. He was later transported to the same county jail to which he had tried to gain entry.

Bullock County District Judge Mike Emfinger charged Tolliver with time served and released him, warning him to "stay away from the jail."

One fo the ladies!

Women Who Avoid Marital Fights May Be More Likely To Die


Married women who avoid conflict with their spouses have an increased risk of dying from any cause, according to a news release from the Second International Conference on Women, Heart Disease and Stroke.

But married men were less likely to die than their single counterparts over a 10-year period, despite other health risks.

Researchers from Boston University and the Eaker Epideiology Enterprise tracked nearly 4,000 men and women, about 3,000 of whom were in marriages or "marital situations" for 10 years to see if they developed heart problems or died.

The couples were asked about things such as disagreements, overall satisfaction and conflict resolution.

"Married men were heavier, older, and had higher blood pressure and a less favorable lipid profile compared to unmarried men," principal investigator Elaine D. Eaker said. "Unmarried men were more likely to be smokers."

Married men were about half as likely to die as unmarried men.

On the other hand, marital status and traditional measures of marital strain had no effect on women developing heart disease or dying. However, when considering more contemporary measures, two types of marital strain were found to be significantly related to the health of married women as well as men.

Women who reported usually or always keeping their feelings to themselves when in conflict with their husbands, known as self-silencing, had more than four times the risk of dying from any cause compared to women who always show their feelings, the researchers said.

"We believe we have found characteristics of marriages that have an impact on peoples' health and longevity," Eaker said. She suggested that screening questions be added to medical history questionnaires to uncover problems, allowing for counseling referrals if appropriate

Ink stain: Pistons' Wallace sued over tattoo

Artist sues Wallace over use of tattoo

Associated Press

A Portland, Ore., man who put a tattoo on the right arm of Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace is suing to stop Wallace from displaying the work in ads for Nike basketball shoes.

Matthew Reed from TigerLilly Tattoo and DesignWorks claims he owns the copyright for the design of the tattoo. Reed's lawsuit wants the Nike ad featuring Wallace and the tattoo off the air and the Internet, as well as damages.

According to the suit filed last week in U.S. District Court, Wallace, who was then playing for the Portland Trail Blazers, approached Reed in 1998, saying he wanted an Egyptian-themed family design with a king and queen and three children and a stylized sun in the background.

Reed researched the idea and came up with a design. Reed said the $450 charge was a small amount, but he expected to benefit from the exposure.

Wallace has one of the more distinctive tattoos in the NBA. Sports Illustrated for Kids used it in a feature asking readers to match each tattoo with the NBA player who wears it.

But Reed claims he became aware last year of a Nike ad that centers on the tattoo and its creation. He claims the ad violates the copyright he holds to "the Egyptian Family Pencil Drawing."

A representative for Wieden+Kennedy, which made the ad and is named in the suit, declined comment to The Oregonian of Portland. Representatives for Nike and Wallace did not return phone messages seeking comment.

No sushi for you!

"Nicollette Sheridan Banned for Life by the Sushi Nazi": No, this isn't a Seinfeld spinoff in bizarro world. According to the National Enquirer, Sheridan got an unexpectedly raw deal recently when she tried to send back some "too fishy" flounder at L.A.'s Sushi Nozawa. Seems the tempura, um, temperamental chef Nozawa, known to many as the Sushi Nazi, wouldn't allow it. All his regular customers understand there are no returns and no exchanges--ever. But the episode quickly became a diva duel, complete with voices raised (as Hollywood heavyweights including Lucy Liu looked on). One eyewitness said, "Nicollette had a meltdown--she was absolutely seething." Nozawa himself said, "She kept yelling how angry she was. I told her, 'No, I am angry with you! You need to get out now and never come back!" Sheridan shouted he couldn't treat people like that and called him a "weird old man." He reportedly screamed, "You're nasty, nasty lady star. That's it. You are banned for life. No sushi for you!" Sheridan's reps dispute that account. They say Sheridan and Housewives costar Marcia Cross were told to leave because Cross wasn't eating, even though they say Sheridan was prepared to pay double so her friend could keep her seat at the sushi bar. Both versions end the same, however, with the Housewives California-rolling right out of there.

Do you remember the TV show the Prisoner?

Robotic ball that chases burglars


By David Millward
(Filed: 14/02/2005)

A large black ball, originally designed by Swedish scientists for use on Mars, could be the latest weapon in the war against burglars.

The device, developed at the University of Uppsala, acts as a high-tech security guard capable of detecting an intruder thanks to either radar or infra-red sensors. Once alerted, it can summon help, sound an alarm or pursue the intruders, taking pictures.

It is capable of travelling at 20mph, somewhat faster than a human being. Even worse for intruders, the robot ball can still give chase over mud, snow and water.

The ball relies on an internal pendulum to control its motion which, when shifted, changes the centre of gravity and starts it rolling.

Other devices, including microphones, cameras, heat sensors and smoke detectors are mounted on its central axis.

Nils Hulth, co-founder of Rotundus, the company which is marketing the ball, said it was especially well-suited to patrolling perimeter fences.

The prototype, just under 2ft in diameter, weighs about 10lb. "It is extremely light, which is why it moves so fast," Mr Hulth said.

While the current version can only raise the alarm, it could be adapted to corner an intruder if the customer wanted, Mr Hulth added.

Patrick Mercer, the Tory MP who is campaigning to give people greater rights to defend their property against burglars, thought the robot ball could have potential: "It would be interesting to see whether the ball had used grossly disproportionate force or whether it would be deemed reasonable.

"But I would much rather a burglar be terrified of householders and shopkeepers, rather than some sort of futuristic device."

Congolese boxer accused of casting spells to win matches

By Meera Selva, Africa Correspondent
10 February 2005


A Congolese boxer has been accused of using black magic to overpower his opponent and weaken the referee during a grudge match in Zambia.

Lubandi Mamba Mulozi, a champion fighter from the Katanga province of the Democratic Republic of Congo, walked into the ring covered in white powder and carrying charms, after having boasted that he "will beat [his opponent Willie] Nkandu and carry his wife with me to Congo so that I can display her as a trophy of my victory". Mr Nkandu complained that each time Mr Mulozi swung a cloth, he fell over.

He described feeling overpowered before a single blow had been struck. "Every time I turned, I felt something hitting me, like sand," he added.

The fight was finally stopped when a referee collapsed and had to be carried from the ring.

The Zambian officials who stopped the fight said: "It is believed that magic was used - we are supposed to protect life."

But Mr Mulozi insisted he had not used any black magic, only "his own powers" and demanded a rematch to give him a chance to avenge his brother, who broke his collar bone in a boxing match against Mr Nkandu in 1996.

Before the fight, Mr Mulozi had said he wanted to bring a coffin to Zambia to take home Mr Nkandu's body after the fight, but could not find a way to carry it from his home in Congo to Zambia.

The crowd, many of whom had bet on the outcome of the match, were unimpressed with the antics and accused both fighters and the referees of having fixed the match.

Accusations of black magic are common in west and southern Africa, and appear frequently in sport. Mpho "Silverfox" Tshiambara, a South African boxer, fell out with his promoter, Rob McLeod, after he accused him of relying on black magic, or muti - which in Zulu means medicine - while in the ring.

Mr McLeod had said that Mr Tshiambara used to call his muti man on a mobile phone before each fight and would often begin vomiting if the magic had gone wrong. Elsewhere, Zimbabwean footballers often refuse to return to their changing rooms at half time for fear of walking through a "losing spell" that had been cast in the corridors. Footballers still talk of the Africa Cup of Nations tournament in 1992, when the Ivory Coast's sports minister was reported to have hired witch doctors to help the national team in the final.

In Britain, police suspect that a form of black magic or voodoo was involved in the murder of an unidentified boy whose body was found in the Thames in 2001. The rituals can involve human sacrifice and the use of charms and spells to ward off evil and protect the wearer. In its most benign form, it uses plants and herbs in alternative medicines

On medication and should not have been drinking

Rugby fan cut off his own testicles


A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles after his team beat England, police confirmed today.

The man was rushed to hospital after the incident at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, South Wales.

A Gwent Police spokeswoman said: "We received a call from the ambulance service at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."

She said the man was taken to Heath Hospital but could not confirm his condition.

It was reported that the man told his friends: "If Wales win I'll cut my own balls off."

After the 11-9 victory in the Six Nations clash, the man is reported to have gone outside and severed his testicles before bringing them back into the club to show fellow drinkers.

A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking.

THE MAN WHO DRINKS PETROL

He usually went for unleaded but was happy with four star and diesel, police said.

Garage ban for maniac

By Kevin Donald



A MAN has been banned from garages - for sneaking on to forecourts to drink petrol.

Brian Taylor, 36, has been branded a four-star pest for slashing hoses to get at the fuel and terrorising staff and shoppers.

He was pictured on security cameras pouring a drink of unleaded before doing a maniacal dance while high on fumes.

Taylor, who doesn't drive, has been issued with an anti-social behaviour order banning him from all garages in Teesside.

The ASBO means he can't even get a carry-out - as the order forbids him having a petrol can in a public place.

Taylor, of South Bank, Middlesbrough, was warned that if his behaviour doesn't stop he will go to jail.

Teesside magistrates heard that on 51 occasions he terrorised staff and shoppers after drinking and sniffing petrol at the filling station at Asda's South Bank store.

On several occasions, he was aggressive when they tried to stop him.

Security footage taken in the early hours one day in July last year showed him dancing wildly around pumps while worried staff watched from their kiosk.

He was caught filling containers day and night after making holes in the hoses.

He usually went for unleaded but was happy with four star and diesel, police said.

Sergeant Bryan Tams, of Cleveland police, said Taylor's actions were a danger to himself and the public.

He said: 'People have turned up at the station, not knowing the pipe's been cut.

'When they have tried to put petrol into their car they have been sprayed all over with petrol, which is very dangerous.

'I've heard reports of meetings called to control his behaviour when he turned up stinking of petrol. The fumes have been so bad he's been asked to leave the building.'

It is thought his actions have cost Asda more than £3000 in damage and lost fuel.

Taylor denies drinking petrol - but admits he loves to sniff it.

Footage showed him filling an empty fizzy drink bottle with fuel, lifting it to his lips and putting back his head. He claims he was just inhaling the fumes.

Sgt Tams said: 'He laughs at the idea he'd drink it. He says, 'I'm daft but not that daft.' Police say they are trying to get help for Taylor to battle his addiction.

Petrol is a mixture of volatile toxic hydrocarbons, which are quickly absorbed through the stomach and lungs and act as a depressant, similar to alcohol.

Sniffing or drinking the chemical gives an instant high - but it may contribute to brain damage and harm the central nervous system and major organs.

Don't try this at home

Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.

Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.

"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles."

Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.


"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case.


The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said.


A dispatcher for the Lake Jackson police said only Turner could discuss the case, but he did not return phone calls from Reuters.


Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison.


Mrs. Warner surrendered to police on Monday and was released on $30,000 bail, the newspaper said.